Sinéad’s duet with Shane MacGowan on ‘Haunted’ is one of the most perfect songs ever recorded. It sums up so well that feeling of a love so strong you truly believe it’s the most important thing in the world. I fell in love with this song upon its release in 1995 and have been continually amazed by it ever since. About ten years ago I realized I had forgotten about it for a couple years and coming back to it was like immersing one’s head in the coolest, purest water and drinking deeply after an exhausting sojourn through a long arid desert.
I heard the news last Wednesday morning while I was at the Sub Pop shop in SeaTac airport (this post was supposed to be about my PNW trip, I’ll delay that for another time). I was talking to the woman behind the counter and checked my phone while she waited on another customer. When she returned I couldn’t bring myself to say anything about what I had just read - ‘Sinéad O’Connor Dead At 56’ was far too sad, far too shocking.
After another ten hours of traveling, I got back to my car and was finally able to crank up I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got as I drove back to Connecticut from New Jersey. And as ‘The Last Day Of Our Acquaintance’ began, I recalled so clearly seeing that title handwritten on a mixtape insert sometime in the 90s and was overcome with emotion for so many lost things.
For the days following it seemed like I was tied to my phone and computer reading all the tributes that were coming in. And I’m glad to still be seeing them now. I love the tribute on Dublin’s Samuel Beckett Bridge. She was such an amazing woman. Her courage, talent, and artistry. The world rarely sees the likes of Sinéad O’Connor. A poet warrior. I love her quote “I didn’t want to be a fucking pop star, I wanted to be a protest singer.” She was one of the best, fighting so many good fights, and with that magnificent voice. To me she was a priestess embodying all the best ideals of punk rock.
Her bravery, her defiance here is incredible. Imagine going thru something like that. Half of Madison Square Garden boo’ing you, at an event honouring one of your musical heroes that you’re thrilled you’ve been invited to sing at. In her book, Rememberings, Sinéad talks about the huge influence Dylan had on her growing up, and how when a nun bought her her first guitar, Sinéad convinced her to buy a Dylan songbook as well, and she’d sit in the park figuring out the tunes. Sinéad was slated to perform Dylan’s ‘I Believe In You’, but the softness of the planned rendition would not work with all the noise the crowd was making, so she launched into Bob Marley’s 'War’, which she had performed on Saturday Night Live only days before, at the end of which she famously ripped up her mother’s photograph of Pope John Paul II in act of ritual magic intended to expunge her own demons whilst letting the world know what the Catholic Church was up to, years before the abuses came to wider light. She was only 25 at the time. Can you imagine having that kind of courage?
Her autobiography, Rememberings, is excellent. I finished it last night. I highly recommend the audiobook, which she reads herself. I love it. She speaks with humor about most things, and I absolutely love that she can’t suppress a giggle when recounting the SNL incident. She’s also full of love. Often saying ‘the most beautiful…’ or ‘the most amazing…’ or talking about people she was ‘madly in love with’. Great stuff, but oh so sad when she says in the introduction that this is her first autobiography and that she's going to live a long life and keep diaries to remember more for the next ones.
Back to that ‘pop star’ quote, one thing that has struck me lately was her absence of ego. While a huge one would’ve been justified, given the beauty of her voice, watch her perform, she is totally in the service of the music.
At the height of her fame here, not letting that keep her from backing Jah Wobble on this. For which he says she didn’t accept a penny in payment
And speaking of beauty, she is stunning in the ‘Silent Night’ video
And what a utterly gorgeous song and performance this is, fully embodying the music
I wish I had listened to her more when she was alive
"she was a priestess embodying all the best ideals of punk rock" Perfect. Thank you for the recommendation re. Rememberings.